Reknoc's Weekend at a Space Station Amusement Park

Strictly SEGA related discussion.
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Reknoc
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Reknoc's Weekend at a Space Station Amusement Park

Post by Reknoc »

So as you may have guessed I find my self with Sonic Colours. At first I was going to write up a review on it but considering there's already more than enough Sonic Colours reviews I decided to try something different (The review was going to be called Not Another Sonic Colours Review, which I think you'll agree is a hilarious name).

So what I'm gonna do is a sort of log of my thoughts as I play through each world. I can't promise regular updates, infact you should probably ignore the title, I doubt I'll get it done through the weekend.

The first place
So as I start I turn the tutorials off, which in retrospect was a surprisingly bad idea. Being dumped straight into the game was a good idea, get's me into the good stuff before I'm tainted by the bad stuff. Core gameplay is fine, however I find Sonic a tad hard to control during the behind the back segments and his jumping is a bit sluggish, the jumping is slightly improved during the 2.5D stuff but only slight, Sonic's turning speed suffers quite a bit during these segments. Graphics are nice, though it may be helped by quite a few repeated assets (why did I run across the same entrance gate on two different levels?) and the fact all platforms seems to be made from simple building blocks.

The first few levels are fun and refreshingly gimmick free though still a bit reliant on auto bounce parts and grinding, I guess the key to a good Sonic game is to have the player play as little as possible. Unfortunately it isn't long until I'm introduced to the games useless gimmick; the alien things. To be fair I could see them being fun, as long as they don't all control as bad as Laser. Really some one needs to explain this shit to me, it seems Sonic suffers from some premature issues and will shoot off before I'm ready (it's a bit different being on the receiving end).

At the moment I'm using the wiimote and chuck because I love having my arms freer than other control set ups will allow, I may switch it up on occasion.

Oh... yea I'm skipping all the cutscenes, the first one made me want to stab myself and draw blood with something blunt and rusty.

Candy Mountain Charlie
This is a bit of an odd world, the theme seems to be sweets but I swear I saw a giant ass cheese burger in one of them. This is where the graphics drop a little, during a particulary slow section I noticed the ugliest jelly bean water fall ever. Actually a lot of the 2D stuff looks like they came from the N64 or something.

Alien dudes introduced here are DRILL! which is rather fun, letting me burrow around under the levels and stuff. Second is Rocket, it sucks. The boss fight made me realise how much I love Mario games... oh and that this doesn't quite suffer the Crash Bandicoot Boss Syndrome.

The last battle from Macross
Woaaaaah holy shitttttt what the fuuu why am i upside down oh god stop running aaaaaaah. Then the aliens get introduced and you're stuck with slow shitty powers like cube which breaks some cubes and acts as the pow switch from mario. And hover which changes the music to something from PSO and slows everything to a crawl and bounces if it barely touches something. Crazy start to what ended up being a boring world. Boss was cool though, managed to make the "boss running away from you gimmick not suck.

Gusty Garden Galaxy
This world started off pretty well, the music was good and the environment was pretty and nice and green... then it shit itself and became mechanical like every other world already. Kinda fun but a bit of over reliance on the side step bits with enemies in front of bottomless pits which will stun you long enough for you to fall to your death. Boss fight sucked, it was just a redo of the first boss, I'Ve ONLY FOUGHT THREE FUCKING BOSSES DON'T FUCKING REPEAT THEM SO SOON! Wisps introduced were Spike which is pretty fun and that's it. On the upside I learned how Hover actually works.

Probably worth mentioning I used the GC controller for this and the next world, seemed OK not a massive improvement, Y is unused for no good reason and Wisp activation is bound to Z which is the worst button on the GC controller.

WATEUUUUUUUURGH
Hey this place looks really nice, hey this music is pretty good, hey water isn't too bad. It was like that all the way to Act 6 which I found really crappy. Drill is fun in water. Oh so you put the best music in the game in this world... and then you decide it shouldn't be audiable in water? YEAH GOOD IDEA SEGA. Boss is another redo, only with two shit gimmicks, first you're underwater so everything is snail speed and second you have to guide missiles into a tank to break it so you can flip the switch, yea because that was sooo much fun in Mario Galaxy (it was, but SMG was a better game).

Green liquid always looks terrible
Oh it's another world where shit just happens, the gimmick of this world is rollercoasters that sometimes require you to jump at the last second after some fucking dramatic camera panning that in no way indicates your rollercoaster is fucking death trap and is about the go right into a bottomless pit. There was one stage where you ran around some kind of planets ring and it was really short and kinda pointless. Boss was like the third boss with a few extra attacks. THIS GAME BASICALLY HAS FOUR BOSSES. New alien is Frenzy, it's pretty fun as you run around destroying shit but is a tad annoying to control.

So in the first episode of Gundam 00 EXIA flies down the orbital elevator and shoots the fuck outta some dudes because they jerk off over weapons, it was really cool
This barely counts as a world, its one long boring and annoying "3D" section with no checkpoints and shitty ring placement followed by one long and annoying boss with terrible ring placement followed by a pointless short chase. The cutscenes let you dick around but I wish I just went to do something else thanks to awful music and way too long credits. Well done Cash Cash, whoever the fuck you are, you managed to be worse than Crush 40.
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Reknoc
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Post by Reknoc »

This is the best part of the game
This is the best part of the game
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It's nearly all 2D and is slightly inspired by Sonic 1 levels. Even the 3D stuff isn't totally crap. Shame you need to collect the red rings to unlock it fully.

If I owned a space theme park I'd have a monorail with my face on it aswell
Oh this is just like, score attack for leaderboards... Yea don't give a shit, who cares about leaderboards on the wii anyway?

Red Ring Rumble
Haha, just kidding. I don't give a shit about the Red Rings.

Not Another Sonic Colours Review (see? hilarious)
So this huh? Wow, I guess I can't relate to the beaten spouse being given shitty flowers dug up from someones garden by their abusive partner so Sonic Colours didn't impress me as much as I thought it would considering how everyone went on and on about it. I completed this game in less than 4 hours. Less. Than. Four. Hours. Holy shit, and this is a full priced retail game? I've played £6 XBLA games with more content. Sure if I hated myself I could pad the time up by getting those Red Rings and trying to S rank shit, but it wasn't fun looking for them when I didn't need to, doubt it would when I do.

Don't get me wrong, this game is decent. At times I was even having quite a bit of fun (sadly most of that wasn't the main game). Sadly being decent on the Wii isn't good enough, the Wii has a bunch of amazing platformers with a lot more content (which is good because they also have Nintendo Tax) that you'd be better off getting rather than this.

This is at best a 3 on a system full of 5s. Sorry Sonic Colours, I'm just unimpressed.
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Reknoc
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Post by Reknoc »

Updated with World 2 and 3, if you went clock wise, since they all open up pretty soon.
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Reknoc
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Post by Reknoc »

Update with world 4 and 5.
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Post by Reknoc »

Final update. Huh wow, wasn't expecting to actually complete it this weekend. OH YEAH ITS ONLY 4 HOURS LONG.
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Post by Quills on Wheels »

Reknoc wrote:Well done Cash Cash, whoever the fuck you are, you managed to be worse than Crush 40.
And yet, people pay $400 to go on a date with them.

What annoys me in this game is the fact that some of the alien powers are stuff that Sonic could do without their help. For example, the hover Green wisp, With it you can follow a trail of rings. WTF? Could Sonic do that before? Or perhaps spike. other than the fact that it can stick to walls, it can also do the Spin dash. again, coudn't Sonic do that before?!
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Reknoc
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Post by Reknoc »

Yes light speed dash. Spike is also the closest there is to a spindash as well. It's basically just an excuse to metroid it so you need to go back to previous levels to get everything. Limiting the light speed dash is certainly no bad thing though. Probably the only time it's worked properly in a Sonic game.
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Post by Quills on Wheels »

Perhaps the only reason the light speed dash worked in this game was because you are still hovering after you do it and not fall into your death.
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Post by Reknoc »

It also helps that it's its own power up so you don't randomly bounce instead of doing it.
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