At the very beginning of our tale, the land of Seegadra had been invaded by Nintendo robots from outer space. These Nintendroids had enslaved all of humanity, forcing them to play crap games like Superman 64. The Nintendroids had started the great console war a millennia ago, bringing ruin across the universe and enslaving gaming consoles, including the SEGA consoles of Seegadra.
Only the Dreamcast had the strength to defeat the Nintendroid leader, the Wii U, but the Dreamcast had been locked away in a prison. Only the Seven Swords of SEGA could unlock him.
And so, the Almighty Goddess called out to the best warriors of humanity, asking them to find these swords. Our unlikely group of 18 heroes came together and rescued six of the Swords, using them to defeat Nintendroids along the way, and also rescuing the possessed consoles of SEGA on their journey.
Now, they are ready to confront the Wii U and gain the last sword of SEGA by using the power of Nintendo music against it!
Chapter 11: The Beginning of the End
The giant Wii U towered over our heroes, the Seventh Sword of SEGA, the Master Sword, held within it's waggling Wiimote hands.
"You puny humans cannot defeat the might of Nintendo consoles! But I am the last boss, therefore I am arrogant and don't believe you could beat me, ever, so go ahead! Give me your best shot!"
Our heroes stand tall, side by side. The Nintendroids swarm the Wii U, but our heroes are unafraid, the consoles of history long gone floating behind, ready to sacrifice their circuits.
GirlGamerNerd the Hodoken holds the Shining Sword steady and calls out the name of Mario Galaxy. i_need_fruit the Master Ninja Overlord Thief readies the Guardian Sword and shouts F-Zero, along with ResidentSD the Lusty Barmaid, holding Flowen's Sword. KC the Pervert Drunk Man waves his Pirate Cutlass and drunkenly slurs the words of Golden Sun.
Drakeo, the Insane White Rock Shooter, holds the Dragon Sword tightly but cannot think of a Nintendo game. Our heroes look to their leader, Awinnerwasyou, the proud owner of the original Mirror Sword, but even he is drawing a blank. Even the best heroes falter.
The Wii U laughs, a dark, mechanical laugh.
"Is that all you have?" He booms.
From behind Awinnerwasyou, SilverSonic the Remixer Knight suddenly appears.
"It's all right" he says. "I've got this!"
And with an almighty roar, SilverSonic calls out the remaining names of Mario and Sonic at the Olympics and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.
The Wii U howls with fury, waggling his Wiimote arms like crazy, the Nintendroids screeching all around him. Carelessly, the Master Sword slips from his grasp, and flies towards SilverSonic, who leaps up to claim it for himself.
"Arrgghh!" screams the Wii U. "I will destroy you all! CONSOLES! ASSEMBLE!"
With that command, the GameBoys, NESdroids, SNESbots and DS Destroyers gather round our heroes. Even a GameBorg Cube appears.
"Attack, my minions, crush them all!"
Awinnerwasyou quickly grabs SilverSonic round the shoulders. "Now is our chance! Take these Swords of SEGA and run to the castle! Unlock the prison and release the Dreamcast, we shall distract these damn bots! Go!"
SilverSonic collects all Seven Swords, and with a huff and a puff, because they're quite heavy and running around with Seven swords in your arms is a bit silly, kinda like running with scissors, only more awesome, SilverSonic strides towards the castle.
The rest of our heroes remain sword-less and know they cannot defeat the Nintendroids on their own, thus they use their own abilities to survive. Awinnerwasyou the Fighter-Mage casts his fighting spells to knock back the GameBorg Cube as RosieSonic21 the Sonic the Hedgehog spins around, making it dizzy.
GirlgamerNerd the Hodokon kicks the faces of GameBoys, i_need_fruit the Master Ninja Overlord Thief throws shurikans everywhere, Drakeo the Insane White Rock Shooter runs around screaming like a crazy person, throwing rocks at random Nintendroids, littlered615 the Adventurer teams up with foreversonic the Galaxy Warrior to whack SNESBots with sticks, pyrus55 the Rappy pecks at NESbots, Cobradabest the Sniper shoots down the Nintendroids flying above, Dartanian the Musketeer partners with Elaniel the Dark White Paladin to stab Virtual Boys in the face whilst ZonicZoneCop the Muse cheers them on, protected by SocialGamer, the RetroDefender.
Meanwhile, Mtails the Innkeeper makes up moltovs for KC the pervert Drunk Man to throw, but KC keeps drinking them instead, so ResidentSD the Lusty Barmaid steps in and attempts to seduce the Wii U itself. It doesn't work.
None of our attacks dent the metallic armour of the Nintendroids, and they push our heroes to the ground. The consoles of gaming long past, including the SEGA consoles we saved, jump in to protect our heroes though, the Mega Drive leading the charge.
It's pretty chaotic.
SilverSonic manages to outrun the Nintendroids somehow, reaching the castle beyond. The castle keep contains a door with seven slots, big enough for the seven Swords of SEGA. Hastily, SilverSonic places each sword in the slots, one by one.
Behind him, the Wii U notices this, and rushes to attack, determined to stop him.
But it's too late. The swords start to spin in the doorway, as the door automatically opens up, revealing... Absolutely nothing inside but the remains of a console long dead.
SilverSonic gasps in shock. Stumbling inside the keep, he lifts up the rusted remains of a Dreamcast control pad, the VMU screen showing no signs of life.
The Wii U stops behind him and laughs.
"Foolish Human! The Dreamcast is dead! He died with your dreams! All hail the Nintendroids!"
The battle behind stops, as the Nintendroids cackle. Our heroes run over to see the truth before them, the SEGA consoles floating mournfully over their shoulder.
The Seven Swords of SEGA slide out of the door and land with a clank. SilverSonic picks up the Master Sword and whispers "I believe in you, Dreamcast! Come back to us!"
The Sword begins to glow.
Swooping down from the Sky, the almighty Goddess, Ulala, appears in person!
"Do not lose faith, heroes! The Dreamcast has been with you all this time! No, really."
The Master Sword floats out of SilverSonic's hands, as all the Swords of SEGA glow, floating into the sky beside it.
And rather weirdly, the Dreamcast control pad floats up with the swords, as they move together. The light of the swords grows brighter until our heroes are forced to look away.
The light dims down, revealing a giant sword made up of all the other swords combined, the VMU fixed permanently into the hilt, showing images from SEGA GaGa!
The Goddess Ulala catches the sword as it falls back to the ground, holding it aloft. "This is the ultimate Sword of SEGA, the Dreamcast's very own Sword. The Sword of GAGA! Heros! You must wield it and use it to defeat the Nintendroids once and for all!"
Our heroes have triumphed much over the past weeks, but only one warrior has the experience level needed to handle this massive sword. Awinnerwasyou takes the GaGa Sword into his hands, and points it towards the Wii U.
The Wii U panics. "No! I shall not be defeated! HYPER LASER WARA WARA ATTACK BEAM GO!"
The Wii U shoots out a deadly white laser beam towards Awinnerwasyou, but the consoles of ages past form a shield in front of the laser, a shield made up of SEGA consoles, a PS1, an Xbox, an Amstrad, a Commodore and more!
The laser is powerful however, and the force of it causes the consoles to disintegrate with the impact! Oh no! They're all dead, Dave!
The consoles may have been reduced to ash, but Awinnerwasyou remains. Not giving the Wii U chance to charge up another Wara Wara beam, Awinnerwasyou leaps into the air and stabs the screen of the Wii U with the GaGa Sword. It screams with pain.
"Noooooo we won E3 you knooow! Now you will never be able to visit Nintendo Land you fooools!"
And with a blinding flash, the Wii U explodes, causing every other Nintendo console nearby to explode as well.
Our heroes remain silent, surrounding by the ashes and bolts of all the dead consoles. Only they remain.
"Is it over?" they ask the Goddess, Ulala.
"These old consoles can now rest in peace, but look..."
The Goddess reaches down amongst the Wii U's remains and lifts up the trembling shell of a Nintendo 3DS.
"The SEGA Consoles died so that new consoles could reign! But it is up to humans to take care of these new consoles and to not inflict their greed upon them, otherwise the console wars will return."
The Goddess Ulala hands the 3DS console over to SilverSonic, who gives it a cuddle, as our heroes find other baby consoles within the wreckage, including a PlayStation Vita. But no SEGA consoles.
Perhaps one day they will return to Seegadra. But until then, we must love all the consoles!
Our heroes have saved Seegadra, and so now, they must rebuild their home from the console wars and make sure it never returns.