For one night only, the Topical Resort is back!
Have I geared myself up to game?
Sadly I won't be making any phone calls while using the SEGA Channel service or during this show...
Cutting it a bit close, but better late than never right?
This week's show rescheduled to tonight (Sunday the 16th of June)
100 down, X to go...
To not too far in the future, but exciting oppertunities await!
There's only a small connection!
It's not a fun one, but I don't want to miss my chance to say my own unique goodbye.
Absolutely no-one...
Now now, there's nothing special about playing the same soundtracks you always play...
This doesn't fill you with a sense of determination.
Content Warning: Potentially sensitive subjects and longform rambling
It's another one in the line of anniversaries that will make you sigh and say "has it really been that long?" out loud. Avoid doing this in a room with others.
Bit easier for me, personally.
For me at least...
We're not going to beat around the bush with the title this week, be there or be too slow.
Of course that was the pun we were going to go with, what else did you expect?
Yeah, of course it's a joke. Nice clickbait though...
I swear (literally) Mom!
If you get the reference, good. If you don't, you probably didn't get to reading this piece of text...
This show will be sure to send you to sleep........ more than usual.
Something something we're at Pumpkin Hill
Or tetramino, or gem, or monkey in a ball, or....
We're N-ovating the pun world!
I mean seriously, have you seen that lineup?
I can hardly contain myself!
Please go out and kick about some leaves, it's fun.
It's time to play those same games again!
Could the title perhaps be more obvious?
So many releases, so many headlines, so little time to talk about it all!
Or a blind dragon, whichever you prefer.
It's not sailors, that's for certain...
Shunts everyone else into the wall
As famously uttered by Keiji Inafune.
Reading out news would make the episode topical, yet it's labelled as being non-topical? Hmmm....
Exhailing death...
Nope, just a little bit faster...
And the map, and the thesaurus, and the the dictionar...
Crashes into the car infront
...for now of course.
There's nothing to decide... Apart from the year of course!
And your party poppers, and your balloons, and your...
We're going into a new field on this episode, and it's one that we should've visited a long time ago...
Time to steal I Need Fruit's apples.
...it's a pun on last month's Off-Topic title.
Yes, the show itself may be friendly for all audiences, but the topic could be anything but!
WII U WII U WII U WII U
We're finally focusing on the episodes YOU want to see!
...of the year.
Was a 3rd (Coutning the Power Base Converter) Mega Drive add-on really necissary?
Wonder how long it'll take for people to tire of that gimmick.
Or you might be one of the 4 people who enjoy Miku nowadays...
Or multiple if you can think of that many of course...
Instead of recapping the month's SEGA news (although we'll still be doing that), let's recap an entire YEAR of SEGA news!
WinterFest returns and there's no better way to kick it off than with... ViPER...
Or in this case, dreams just go away for a few months and then come back for an anniversary special and then go away for a few months and then come ba...
If you ever feel bad about your day, just know it took me near to 30 minutes to figure out that terrible title.
But not as fast as the blue blur himself of course.
Alternative title: Introducing... Disappointment
Because everyone was going to make an "Identify the beats" joke.
Owning 30 copies of Sonic 1 isn't hoarding, it's normal in 2017!
I ain't gonna let it get to me...
I really struggled to think of a title for this post...
Reward: 500 rings or your SEGA currency of choice.
Because before all we played were MIDIs...
Or would it be Topical Garden?
I'm running out of jokes about being portable okay?
AGES is SEGA backwards in case you haven't figured that out yet...
A very specific dream, no?
With so much Yakuza hype around, how could we resist?
No we're not talking about Shadow the Hedgehog...
Because I couldn't think of a better title.
Obligatory Mania episode here we come...
Please Note: The Resort is not responsible for the death of you or others around you. Thanks for your understanding.
No I'm not having an existential crisis, but the Resort may be...
No, not a Sonic one...
I don't want to see you standing there, you're blocking my view.
What's that? You say I'm copying SEGA AGES? I'm going to pretend I never heard that...
Nothing says "This world has gone downhill over the past year" more than ViPER talking about his most despised console!
Look on the bright side, ANYTHING is better than the 15th Anniversary.
If Valve can't count to 3, is that why they're never at E3?
Oh, radio doesn't use screens? Well that feature's useless then...
They're big and bulky, but having wheels makes it portable right?
Might as well rename the show at this rate...
Bring on the Wall... of text.
What, you still have dial-up? We'll be a while, but stay patient!
Let's take a trip back to the cinema's, not Back in Time...
Or Tetris Pieces and Beans for uneducated gamers...
We're allowing fanmade parks... for now.
Bring your children if you want, just prepare for the ESRB and PEGI to complain if they're under 18.
Grab your mobile of choice, because we're going to Sonic Jump into the world of SEGA iOS and Android games!
Get your tickets at the ready, or pay on the door if you really want to...
Requests between 21st Apr and 27th Apr