Content Warning: Potentially sensitive subjects and longform rambling
Those of you who know me a bit more in-depth than surface level know I'm a very private person. I don't disclose many details about my real life like my identity as I like having my online ventures being a separate escape from my boring real life, and disclosing personal details to a large group of people wouldn't sit well with me. Details I do share are things that I personally feel comfortable with sharing, and while this doesn't extend to that, it's something worth saying.
Over the past few months, my medical condition has been declining. I've only dropped subtle hints to this as I felt it wasn't a hindrance on my ability to deliver my online promises. This started to change, and my baseline level of quality has been on a downward slope. Initially mental health problem were causing this, buy they have mostly shifted now to pave the way for a new problem. About a month or two ago, I started to notice a pain in my lower back around my kidneys. I ignored it thinking it was probably due to my also declining rate of exercise, and I had no clue where to start the questioning. Over the course of a few weeks, this pain spread to *there* and gradually shot up into every vein in the surrounding area. We pinned this down to an infection, so onto antibiotics I went and they made it worse. Onto different antibiotics I go and they improve some symptoms and make some worse. This of course doesn't factor in the rising pains I was feeling during this time, and I hinted to during some shows. This has also been the reason for my low and confrontational mood as of recent, because you can become quite agitated when in constant pain funnily enough. Fast forward to now and we know it isn't an infection, and thank God it also isn't cancer. The problem now stems from the multiple tests and potentially procedures that I'll have to go through to fix this.
The problems this brings in are the previously mentioned low mood and lack of energy. Some days I wake up with the energy to move mountains, others I can barely shovel breakfast down my neck. This is where the show comes into play. As you can imagine, trying to spend hours preparing a show every week with this going on is tiring, and I personally lack the strong motivation to push through it to produce a show. This is the reason for the quality drop you've been seeing in recent episodes and the reasoning for slow podcast uploads and lack of updates. I apologise.
This doesn't really lead to a conclusion; this is still going on and will be for a while so I need to make a decision as to the short term fate of the show and my overall commitment to RadioSEGA. So please bear this in mind each week if you think communication is low or I've come off as aggressive to you. I wish to do better but I am simply unable to at this current time.
As for tonight, we're still going ahead with Toejam and Earl albeit very underprepared. I am still deciding on how to handle future episodes if at all but I can guarantee a show of some description tonight. There'll also be a RadioSEGA LiVE announcement, and I'm sure you can guess what it is by looking at the calendar.
Requests between 21st Apr and 27th Apr
RetroBob 18th March, 2019 - 13:47
Totally understandable. It's not easy to share this kind of thing so thank you, and I wish you good health.Report